Isn't it always Monday we wait for to start something new...an exercise regime....an eating programme...reading a new book? Monday signifies the beginning of new things. Well it seems to have that effect as it is the beginning of the working week for most of us. Unless of course you are a parent to which the week neither begins nor ends.
Ok about Melissa, that is me. I was born 8 pounds 15 ounces on the 15th of December 1976. from the day we are born our weight bears some significance to the world and some judgement is formed on that basis! Whether it be our health or how amazing our Mother was in the natural delivery of such a sized baby. Of course that in and of itself is influenced by the size...or weight of our Mother. If she is large it is expected she may deliver easily a large baby, if she is tiny nobody can believe that such a huge baby came out of a little person...and if it did they must have needed some assistance. Well let me tell you that the size of your hips and even the weight of the baby has very little to do with how that baby comes out. For starters it is the width of the pelvis that makes the real difference in giving birth and that nobody can really tell by looking at you how that is going to work. I know tiny women who have delivered naturally 9 pound babies with ease. I myself at 100kg full term pregnant; babies weighing no more than 7 pound 2 ounces...well that little girl got stuck and though my whole life I have been told I have child bearing hips...that didn't help me even a little bit!!!! Baby number two, well first Son was only 6 pound 5 ounces, (yes I was once again 100kg) They had to cut him out two weeks early as I have a "funny" uterus and therefore my placenta decided to block the exit!!!
I am not quite sure where exactly I am going with this but my point is that as much as I try to run from society's obsession with weight, when I say run I mean ignore and do my very best to try to point out the fact that I don't give a rats....watch me eat what I want!!!! At the end of the day weight does matter. It effects my body immensely right now in its ability to function to its fullest and sometimes just sitting comfortably. I will argue to the death and have really strong opinions regarding the worth of a woman or man being equated to their weight. Where health is concerned it really does matter, physically and emotionally....well at least it does to me.
So my journey here in "Becoming Melissa" is heavily involved in my first big step and doing what I have spent my whole life rebelling against and taking part in a seriously strict weight loss programme or diet!!! I hate diets but the reality is that we all have a "DIET" whether it is ice-cream and fizzy drink or only organic produce or a vegetarian diet or even beer and peanuts! It is still a diet so my choice is to begin to change drastically my unhealthy out of control diet with a very healthy and controlled diet. Whilst I have always viewed this as restrictive I have recently had my mind opened to the fact that it is just like anything in our lives they may seem like we are missing out, sometimes the little things we can't have or do allow us o have something better when the time comes along to make a different choice....
For example I have for the most part chosen to eat pretty much whatever I felt like and at times it wasn't that I necessarily felt like eating the ice-cream in the freezer it was really like it was calling me to eat it, kind of like it was the destiny of the ice-cream to be consumed by me. However now I will choose to ignore the ice-cream...or better yet leave it at the supermarket so I cannot hear it calling me. It leaves it wide open for me to go on a massive shopping spree in Melbourne or just DFO or perhaps even back to China....and this time I will be able to actually fit into the clothes!!! More important than any of this is my desire to live more fully. I don't want to be the Mum that sits and watches her children running around or swimming or rolling around on the ground...I want to be the leader of that pack and I want them to be chasing me and competing with me in the swimming pool. I don't want to be an observer in the life of my family I WANT TO LIVE IT WITH THEM!!!!!!!